His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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