she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
