she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
