i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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