So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
