Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
