two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize