i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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