Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
