Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
