I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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