I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
