I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Even my vagina gasped.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
