alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
