She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
