She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
