I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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