Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
