thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
