I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize