I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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