Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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