school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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