Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
