Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
