Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Randomize
