you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
