Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
