Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
