why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
