the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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