NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
