anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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