so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
