Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
