mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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