bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
