dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
