first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
