Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My vagina is officially offended.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
