The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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