That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize