I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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