So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
