What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
