Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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