Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just had sex on a roof
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
