Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
