I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
