Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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