Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
