she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
