Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
