No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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