our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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