I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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