My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
