i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
