Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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