barbara walters just said penis...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
