I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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